BETH EXPLAINS BOLLYWOOD

Raakhee, in Baseraa

Beth Watkins writes a weekly column about Bollywood for the Wall Street Journal and keeps the blog Beth Loves Bollywood. We've been known to shoot the breeze on matters Bolly, about which she knows far, far more than I. Here is a transcript (reprinted with permission) of Beth warning me not to watch a movie called Baseraa:


Beth: there are very few completely charmless Hindi films out there, I think
which is nice

me: yeah
though some of em are fuckin boring

Beth: yes
this wekeend I had one that turned itself inside out to set up reasons for people to maek big sacrifices
it was SO ANNOYING

me: yeah

Beth: it goes like this:
dude marries older sister
her younger sister hangs around them all the time, even coming on their honeymoon
younger sister gets married off to someone she apparently hates

me: oh ok not his older sister

Beth: as all we see her do is cry
no no hahaah
on her wedding day, her new husband, whose face we neer see, DIES
so she is a WIDOW
which is obviously the worst possible thing htat could ever happen to anywone

me: i'm a bad person for laughing at that, but proceed

Beth: so her older sister, the married one, sees her in the white outfit
and HAS A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
and is insitutionalized
which makes total sense obvs
oh no, I laughed too, you gotta
I mean come on
THEN
widow moves in with husband of crazy sister

me: set in the province of melhodramha

Beth: and they eventually GET MARRIED
and have a kid
so he has two wives
don't ask me how that works
while first wife is off in the asylum
14 years go by
and she gest better
and they decide she can be released
and you see where this is going
doctor says they should pretend everything is as it was 14 years ago

me: after 14 years in the bughouse? jesus christ

Beth: yep
so second son has to be shipped off to first son's fiancee's college dorm
(right)
and second wife has to pretend to be not a wife at all
etc etc

me: what the shit

Beth: and then in the end crazy first wife decides to pretend to still be crazy and gets hersefl instiuttionalized again
so that younger sister can be happy
.....
WHAT THE FUCK DOCTOR WOULD EVER COME UP WITH THIS

me: dude must have gone to medical school with patch adams

Beth: hehehehe
I mean, somehow this basic idea is kind of cute in Goodbye Lenin
(Goodnight LEnin? I can never remember the name)
but in this it is INSANE
due to the wives and kid and all

me: yeah that's just like
wut